Men’s mental health: Why it’s time to reimagine ideas of masculinity

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Suicide rates for men are three to four times more than women in most developed countries. According to the International Institute of Population Sciences (IIPS), the suicide rate of Indian men is 2.5 times that of women. Further, men tend to develop unhealthy coping strategies than women when faced with mental health challenges. Studies indicate that substance abuse and mental health problems coexist leading to a vicious cycle for many men. And for men from marginalised communities, the problems are further compounded by intersectional challenges of race, ethnicity and socio-economic conditions.

Distorted ideas of masculinity

Across societies, cultural stereotypes around masculinity and manhood have a significant impact on the health and well-being of men. This is even reflected in phrases that define the social conditioning of a man while growing up such as ‘Boys don’t cry’ or ‘Man up!’

“As we train boys and young men to ‘man up’, we also teach them to ignore their feelings, to conceal them in a way that it also makes them invisible to themselves," says Asgeir Persson, a gender equality specialist in Gothenburg, actively working on issues of masculinity and violence through the Swedish NGO, MÄN.

“A common idea of masculinity is that you should never communicate weakness or feelings. To do so would make you look needy or unmanly. We, as men, don’t know what we are feeling and we are discouraged to talk about it with someone else," adds Persson.

Being a man is associated with being strong while being vulnerable is considered unmanly. “The lack of safe spaces for men to be able to let their guard down and for a change not be a man and just express their fears, and occasionally, cry, whether at work or at home — sadly, often even with their male peers and friends — adds to the difficulty," says Anoop Rao, founder of ReLife, a leadership coaching and consulting service in Hyderabad.

“I’ve seen many cases where even after being diagnosed with a mental health condition, the person has refused to work on it owing to the fear of judgement," says Kalpesh More, a facilitator and farmer who had initiated Biraadari, an online men’s circle during covid-19. Also, when it comes to men, some common mental health conditions are normalised, notes More. For example, anger issues in men are often ignored as something that needs to be addressed. There is also a significant urban – rural disparity when it comes to access to resources for mental health for men, he observes.

It is, then, unsurprising that most men prefer not to speak about their mental health issues or seek support, in order to fit into the accepted social construct of being a man.

Reimagining masculinity

As a society, there’s need for all of us to reflect upon and reimagine ideas around masculinity. This requires imagination, improvisation and intentional action. Valuing both the feminine and masculine energies within oneself is critical for men to start the process of integration into a more whole person. Indian mythology and wisdom tradition offers a rich tapestry for one to draw inspiration in this aspect. The idea of Ardhanareeshwara where Shiva and Shakti are shown as an integrated whole is perhaps a thought to explore deeper for oneself. Jungian psychologists like Gareth S. Hill have also delved deeply into the interplay of masculine and feminine energies in us.

“In the long run, we need to redefine what is considered ‘manly’ to a healthier, better idea than what it is now. For this, we need more tools to talk about mental health and we need to create spaces where men can feel safe while talking about things that can be perceived as unmanly," says Persson.

While the challenge and crisis around men’s mental health is significant, there are also positive trends that hold hope for a better tomorrow. Social movements like ‘Movember’ are a welcome change in promoting awareness around men’s mental health issues. ‘Movember’ is an annual event involving the growing of moustaches for charity during the month of November to raise awareness around men’s health issues, specifically, prostate cancer, testicular cancer, mental health and suicide prevention. Since its inception in 2003, it has funded over 1320 men’s health projects around the world.

The diversity and inclusion movement in corporate spaces, the resilience of the LGBTQI+ movement among other initiatives have led to greater awareness around mental health and have helped break rigid binaries," observes Rao who feels that greater emphasis on these issues in schools and parenting strategies is also helping break taboos around counselling. “Shows like In Treatment and Stutz on OTT platforms are helping the cause too," he adds.

Simple first steps

While movements influence the society at large, on an individual level, there are simple practices that men can adopt in their daily life for their mental well-being. The first step would be to practice feeling, and communicating, their emotions. “We can learn to identify and communicate our feelings. But we need to practice. Find a friend you can trust and start building a space where you can communicate about how you feel," says Persson.

While it is important to create safe spaces to share one’s feelings with one’s family and friends, it is equally important to acknowledge that they may not be resourceful enough to support when one is going through a complex mental health condition. Rao recommends seeking expert help from mental health professionals instead of well-meaning peers and family members in challenging conditions. 

Healing happens in relational spaces and not in isolation. “It might help to join associations or networks that promote self-inquiry and offer us opportunities to deconstruct and redefine traditional norms," adds Rao who rounds out his recommendations by underlining the importance of self-care. “Make self-care a priority. Prioritising one’s own mental health needs could help men overcome the pandemic of loneliness by enabling mutually nourishing relationships in life." Ultimately, mental health interventions need to embrace an intersectional approach that can tackle the multi-dimensional challenges of mental health issues of men. 

Signs to watch for

While men and women can develop the same mental disorders and conditions, the symptoms may vary. In men, watch out for these symptoms: 

1. Anger, irritability or aggressiveness   
2. Misuse of alcohol and/or drugs 
3. Persistent sadness or feelings of hopelessness 
4. Engaging in high-risk activities 
5. Obsessive compulsive behaviours  
6. Suicidal thoughts 

Haripasad Varma is an executive coach, yoga therapist and founder of Zensei in Hyderabad. He posts at @ZenseiHari.

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