This is the greatest stadium on Earth. Soon it will disappear.

The first few days of the Olympic Games are always a bit of a crabby complaint fest: This is a mess, they did this wrong, this is too small, this is too warm, the beds are hard, the food is weird, I can’t believe they’re making me swim in the Seine.

But this? Paris nailed this, straightaway:

The Beach Volleyball Stadium.

Formally, Eiffel Tower Stadium, because from any vantage point inside this joint, you can’t miss the next door neighbor soaring out of the manicured earth–WOWOWOW!–7,000 tons of iron, 1,083 feet tall, La dame de fer, now 137 years young.

Other outdoor stadiums offer sumptuous views. Washington’s Husky Stadium looks out onto picturesque Union Bay. Colorado’s Folsom Field sits in the shadow of the Rockies. Citi Field, home of the New York Mets, offers an intimate view of congestion at LaGuardia Airport and even the Grand Central Parkway.

This is better. Much better.

Situated on the Champ de Mars, Eiffel Tower is the drop-dead gorgeous sports arena you never thought Earth needed, for a sport seldom considered outside of the Olympic cycle, and it is absolutely the must-have ticket for these Games.

Let me give the reasons:

It’s a Vibe: Beach volleyball is fun. It’s beach volleyball, even at the Olympics. They don’t mind it being noisy, loud and distracted. Half the crowd seems like it’s bumbled in after three Aperol Spritzes. They crank pop music (want to hear Timmy Trumpet, or a mash-up of Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe" and Amy Winehouse’s “Rehab"? Yes you do!); they have an inexplicable character walking around in orange scuba gear and a bubble maker; they have an English-speaking P.A. announcer screaming instructions like a DJ at a corporate off-site. And they have beach volleyball! Best of all: You can wear shorts and feel appropriately dressed, and not like a vulgar American. At least that’s what I told myself, wearing shorts, looking like a vulgar American.

It’s For the ‘Gram. As in Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, group chat, or whatever other social media apparatus you and your family can’t stop using. Eiffel Tower Stadium recognizes that modern existence is not merely about living life to its fullest; it’s also about showing everybody else that you’re living life to its fullest. Otherwise, what’s the point? You’re a nobody at ETS if you haven’t gone to the rafters to take a selfie of yourself with the Tower in the background, and you’re definitely supposed to post it within minutes on social media for PEAK SUMMERTIME TRAVEL ENVY POINTS, which is the whole reason they made social media, right? No single photo you will take at the 2024 Games says it better: I’m in Paris, I’m cultured, I’m living my best life, and please don’t ask me the score of any of the beach volleyball games.

Socially Acceptable Eiffel Towering for Snobs. Look, I love a good tourist destination just as much as the next fanny packer. I liked going to the top of the Empire State Building when I lived in New York City. I happily walked around Times Square! (Don’t tell anyone.) I believe the Eiffel Tower is an incredible sight, and nobody should feel self-conscious about wanting to visit. Still, many of us have that Francophile pal who advises us to steer clear, that a true Parisian would never, and advises you instead to visit a hunting museum in the 3rd Arrondissement. What I am saying is this: This stadium, which will be used for blind football (a version of soccer) in the Paralympics, is a way to experience The Eiffel without actually going Full Eiffel, and it will be completely worthwhile. (The Tower is a genuine wonder!) Best of all, at night, on the hour, they turn down the stadium lights for the Eiffel Tower’s own sparkly light show. It’s the best.

It Gets What the Olympics Are About. Because of television, and too many documentaries, people think the Olympic Games are supposed to be fancy trumpets, tradition and prestige. Here’s what the Olympics really are: a garish children’s birthday party for adults. They are noisy, overpriced, exhausting, with meh food and no beer. But they’re wildly entertaining if you’re willing to calm down and loosen up, and that’s what Eiffel Tower Stadium does as well as any stadium at these Games or before. Sitting there is a blast, it’s beautiful, and people who are lucky enough to attend won’t forget it. Also this: It’s temporary! They’re tearing this sucker down when the 2024 Games are done. Perfect. The Eiffel Tower will remain. But we’ll always have beach volleyball.

Write to Jason Gay at Jason.Gay@wsj.com